Ohio Valley Haunts
Ohio Valley Haunts
THE FINAL RESTING PLACE
"HAUNTED JUNKYARD"
Category:  Homemade, Non-Touch Venue
Reviewed 10/4/24
RATING: 9
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LENGTH: - Duration 26 Minutes 9
ACTORS: - # 54 10
- Costuming 7½
- Dialogue
- Interaction 8
- Intensity/Delivery 8½
SCARINESS: - Ambience 9
- Fearfulness 9
PROPS: - Quality
- Quantity/Density
DESIGN: - Concept 9
- Lighting 9
- Soundtrack 9
- Start
- Finish 10
- Flow 10
- Changes 9
- Uniqueness 9
VALUE: - Cost $25
- Enjoyment 10

RECAP:

THE FINAL RESTING PLACE HAUNTED JUNKYARD: Sabina, Ohio’s Final Resting Place is entered through a weathered-looking door, where a crazy man is seen sitting on the ground conversing with a skull that's mounted to a stick.  He serves as a distraction for a horn-honking surprise that charges onto the scene out of hiding!  Sirens sound as trunk lids mysteriously open and close on their own shoving the path up a wooden ramp into a building that has an antique car rocking on top of it.  Inside a hillbilly version of "In the Pines” adds misery and suffering to navigation over uneven floors and past a stalking, alienated redneck glaring looks of malicious intent at passersby as the tragic melody continues, “…where the sun never shines; in the winter when the cold wind blows!”

With the lyrics of the haunting song now firmly etched in our heads, we “shiver the whole night through,” or at least through a dilapidated shanty adorned with rusting, metal road signs, then into a foul smelling bus, and eventually beyond the electrical disaster of short-circuiting fuse boxes that leads into the slaughterhouse of a pig-faced chef swinging a meat cleaver!  (“My girl, my girl, don’t lie to me…”)

Sparks blast out as the dire warning of, “We’re gonna have a grill out!” exemplify the fact that we’re about to be butchered to death!  Fleeing down a bone-littered corridor and out through a dark maze provides a hidden escape (…tell me where did you sleep last night!”)

Headlights flash off and on, more sirens blare, and flames burst forth from the hoods and engines of cars as a discontented Jester orders, “Go!  Run!  Move!  Go faster!”  Seeking shelter in a succession of falling apart shacks filled with more body parts gives way to a spider web covered bus, then into a conflict with a bouncing clown jumping up and down on the hood of a junked car to the accompaniment of festive circus music!

From there, a snarling brute pounds loudly with a large hammer while lunging forward and wickedly laughing at our predicament!  Misfiring trucks and more horns trigger the ire of gas-masked fiends that go on the offensive giving pursuit into a mausoleum of coffins disturbing a mourning woman who insists on our immediate departure. 

A goon with a baseball bat goes on a violent rampage as the course makes its way through a gutted jet engine, and into a threatening confrontation with a cannibalistic woman inside a room of half-eaten cadavers and a charred body rotating over hot coals she proudly refers to as her, “Rosy rotisserie!”  More nasty smells, a doll room where a girl cries for her mommy, and an oversized buzzard searching for a human nugget are still to come, as is a morgue containing numerous body vaults identified as famous killers!

Additional junkyard sights include the fuselage of a downed plane, walking through the casing of a DC-10 engine, trashed pickups and other vehicles, and the remnants of worn-out washers and dryers.  Brawls with a spark-shooting ghoul, a Mickey Mouse-faced assailant, and a demented dentist incite a double chainsaw attack through a wrecked bus laying on its side and the back of an ambulance cornering victims for a brief period of time before the melee resumes with the jacked-up killers hopping and sliding across the hoods of cars during a relentless chase into the new Junkyard Boutique Gift Shop, and lasting all the way out to the parking lot of The Final Resting Place Haunted Junkyard!

BACON AND LEGS:  This new secondary attraction consists of an old shack of torsos, body bags, and cobweb-lined hallways.  Crazed girls pound on the walls with a baseball bat and unnervingly sing “Ring Around the Rosy” setting off a mechanical skeleton that starts moaning and groaning!  Rooms are littered with cadavers and bloody, dismembered human appendages, while female mannequins clad in tight-fitting shirts and sporting THOs add to the décor.  "Tear you to pieces!” is spray painted on one of the walls as is, “This Way Little Piggies!” as a brief entrapment at the hands of a Pig-masked Butcher detains progression within parallel corridors!  Stuck with nowhere to go, another pig-faced, snorter reaches down from the rafters above clawing at those trapped inside! 

Release discovers a hungry hillbilly woman armed with a meat cleaver excited about the unexpected arrival of, "Fresh meat!"  Eluding her cannibalistic intentions eventually brings about a horn-honking escape from Bacon and Legs.

- 8 minutes, 13 actors

ANALYSIS:  Secondary attractions Grandma Millie’s and Stir Crazy have been eliminated this season and replaced with Bacon and Legs.  The Junkyard is characterized by cars, trucks, buses, planes and appliances that no longer run, and makes use of sirens, flashing lights, honking horns, opening and closing hoods and trunks, etc. to provide a variety of frights and make the most out of the attraction’s theme.  Many characters are armed and dangerous and do their best to deliver believable, threatening interactions.  Chainsaw villains stand out with their lengthy, persistent chase.  Snarling brute, hillbilly, and pig-faced antagonists are also memorable.

Lighting and sounds are good.  Particularly appreciate the impact and anguish instilled by the use of the song "In the Pines!"  Layout of the course has been revised for 2024, while sparks, short-circuits, fire, and other favorite scare tactics have been retained and perfectly compliment the overall experience.  Silicone bodies and foul smells add to the realism.  Entrapment is the best feature of the new Bacon and Legs secondary attraction.  Junkyard’s chainsaw finish is the most intense ending around!

Queue line is entertained by a man walking his invisible dog and playing tricks on the unsuspecting crowd!  A talkative, seemingly possessed girl and her doll also interact with those waiting to enter the haunts themselves.  Gift shop has been built right onto the end making it easily accessible.

What The Final Resting Place may lack in high-tech props, they make up for with energy and ingenuity!  Cost of admission is $25 and includes both attractions.  The Haunted Junkyard is open from 8 PM – Midnight on Fridays and Saturdays through November 2nd.   

Secondary attractions are not rated.

The Final Resting Place - Haunted Junkyard
LOCATION & ADMISSION INFO:
988 Polk Rd / Sabina, OH  45169
Sept 27 - Nov 2; Fri/Sat 8 PM - Midnight
$25 Admission (includes Bacon and Legs)
(937) 728-6190
click logo at left to visit their website
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