RECAP:  A variety of entertainment takes place at this “Family Fearpark” prior to opening of the haunted attraction.  Walking through an old cemetery leads to a dry-docked paddle-wheeler that hosts a gift shop and provides a gathering place for appearances of special guests (cast members from Dawn of the Dead were present on the night of our visit).  Ticket sales begin at 7 PM and the festivities begin with a prayer, featured entertainers (we were treated to Eddie Armbrister's World of Wonder Magic and Illusion Show as well as The Fire Felon), and a Bizarre of haunted games including, Brain Bash, King Kans, Zombie Ball, Wheel of Misfortune, and  Ring Toss just to name a few.  The Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo was also on sight presenting the opportunity for photo ops.  At dusk, a brief fireworks display and the tolling of a bell signals the start of The Haunted Majestic itself!

The adventure begins through the façade of an old, wooden cabin inhabited by killer clowns, and Madam Deadly who mysteriously appears from within a crystal ball!  Outside, the trail area gets underway with a spinning light vortex tunnel, followed by climbing onto a bus that features an immediate air-blower surprise that mimics the sound of a chainsaw!  Barrels shake as large, cylindrical sewer pipes are passed through leading to a building that hides a coffin containing skeletal remains, and a monster that attacks with a sharpened metal-like rod before heading down to the World War II Floating Hospital now known as The Haunted Majestic!

Loud spooky sounds beckon visitors onto the boat, where a strange nun peers out from an adjacent window intently overseeing the boarding process.  Scenes include a toxic waste area, a sudden startle courtesy of a blasting horn, short-circuiting fuse box, bloody-faced butcher chopping up humans, a freezer stocked with body bags, animated monsters springing forward, and a tantalizing witch proudly showing off her garden (cemetery) filled with body parts, tombstones, and skulls! 

Dodging a life-like spider infestation leads to the ships helm where the Captain orders his crew to throw intruders off the ship, or they can choose to remain and be slaughtered!  Hearing a nearby chainsaw sends us fleeing right into a medical facility treating the insane that witnesses patients breaking out of their restraints, and the aftermath of a deadly electric chair execution!  Lights flicker off and on as more air blowers sound, and run-ins with Michael Myers and an attacking ape give way through firecrackers to an aerial assault at the hands of a flying, mechanical nun in advance of a confrontation with the first nun who was earlier seen looking out the window announcing, “God can’t save you now!”

Back on shore, a school bus occupied only by a distraught driver claiming to have killed all the children connects through more sewer pipes littered with body parts to a wooded area that finds a pumpkin-faced scarecrow leaping off a cross, then a confused survivor roaming the sight of a crashed plane!  Water inexplicably bubbles up from a nearby pond as the course makes its way toward a rickety shack that houses a fiend armed with a spark-emitting grinder!  Escape heads back outdoors where The Grim Reaper stalks progression with an enormous scythe before a drop panel surprise courtesy of a ghoul wearing a light-up mask brings the curtain down on The Haunted Majestic.

ANALYSIS:   The site provides an assortment of fun activities in addition to the lengthy haunted attraction.  These include the chance to meet special guests, enjoy featured entertainers like captivating magic shows and fire baton twirlers, play some carnival-like games, watch fireworks, and take advantage of various photo ops.  Snacks and refreshments are also available, and picnic tables are conveniently provided.  The set-up adds an amazing touch creating a rather special environment with all the amenities joining forces to supplement the haunted house.  Check their website for details and a list of guests scheduled to appear.

The haunt is comprised of a basic trail and a few structures leading to and from The Haunted Majestic, the exploration of which is the highlight of the event.  Crystal ball and sparks are noteworthy.  Navigation through sewer pipes and buses is appreciated.  Crashed plane is impressive, and water bubbling up from the lake provides the best, most unexpected scare of the night.  Nun, witch, grim reaper, diminutive clown, and ghoul with the light-up mask are memorable for giving good performances.

Soundtrack is good on board The Majestic, but quiet elsewhere.  Direction of travel is sometimes in question along the trail especially early on making it possible to enter the wrong structure, or go the wrong way.  The attraction would benefit from additional props, and many more actors are needed throughout to ramp up frights.  Cast also needs to elevate their intensity and interaction with customers.  Several smaller child actors are utilized in primary scare roles, a few characters just stood there when we passed by without even trying to deliver scares, and Dr. Mac, the focus of the backstory and “Open Wounds” tribute is conspicuously absent from the adventure.

A lot of potential exists at the Fearpark to compliment the pre-haunt activities.  The historic boat is the star of the show, and rightfully so!  Addressing the shortcomings discussed above combined with expansion in the mechanical scare department, increased detailing of scenes, a more action-packed beginning, and a powerful finish would easily take them to the next level. 

General admission costs $20.  The site offers a Season’s Pass for $60, which grants repeated weekend admission to all the special guests, fireworks, games, fun, and of course, The Haunted Majestic!  Paranormal ghost hunts are conducted nightly beginning approximately 30 minutes after the haunt closes costing $20 and lasting about 90 minutes.

When visiting, be advised there's also a $5 parking fee charged by the adjacent Robert Newlon Airport, which should be eliminated if possible.

This is a difficult haunt to rate because it's intended and promoted as a "family-themed haunted attraction."  As such, it isn't their goal to be excessively scary or extremely gory.  As stated on their website, they're primarily focused on "providing families with a hauntingly fun atmosphere," and they've certainly created that type of environment with all the special guests, performers, and activities, as well as the chance to board and tour their wonderful boat!  It really isn't fair to hold them to the same standards as attractions that aim to "scare your socks off!"  Ohio Valley Haunts very much enjoyed our first visit to The Haunted Majestic!  The attraction is suitable for all ages!  Pay them a visit, and be sure to arrive early so you don't miss any of the opening ceremonies!