Ohio Valley Haunts
Ohio Valley Haunts
CARNAGE HAUNTED HOUSE
Category:  Professional, Non-Touch Venue
Reviewed 9/21/19
RATING:
.
.
LENGTH: - Duration 22 Minutes 8
ACTORS: - # 26 8
- Costuming 8 ½
- Dialogue 9
- Interaction 8 ½
- Intensity/Delivery 8
SCARINESS: - Ambience 9
- Fearfulness 8
PROPS: - Quality 9
- Quantity/Density 9
DESIGN: - Concept
- Lighting 9
- Soundtrack 9 ½
- Start 9
- Finish 10
- Flow 7 ½
- Changes (first visit) n/a
- Uniqueness 9
VALUE: - Cost $20 9
- Enjoyment 10

RECAP The journey begins through the Carnage Cemetery and into a cajun-country bayou, where a festively-dressed Mambo Voodoo Priestess commandeers accomplices to help conjure up the spirit of her late, deceased husband.  His "arrival" sparks a sudden, room-morphing surprise prior to escape into a green, murky swamp filled with marsh monsters, strange horned creatures, and an animated, man-eating crocodile!  Buried deep in the quagmire rests a desolate old shack inhabited by a backwoods woman and her bloody sister, Bobby Jo.  Walls are infested with a multitude of buzzing bees hard at work attending to their endless duties inside of several hives under the direct supervision of an enormous queen!  Various rooms of the shanty are explored, one of which finds a giant, 6' 9" behemoth relentlessly pounding a gigantic hammer on everything in sight, while an innocent victim struggles to free herself from captivity, and another confined hostage screams for help after nearly being skinned alive!  Progression through a "haunted" kitchen finds cabinet drawers thrashing open and closed on their own, then it's onto a pig-faced fiend operating a fast-moving meat grinder exclaiming, "I'm ready to grate up some more human flesh!"  "Slab's Fresh Meat Butcher Shop" is on the horizon carving up maggot-covered human remains while arms, legs, and severed, bloody body parts rotate overhead suspended from hooks emanating from a moving conveyor belt.  Ants and bugs help themselves to the main course on a distasteful dinner table - a limbless torso dressed with an apple stuffed in its mouth!  Navigation through a library is compromised by toppling bookcases and a tilting Grandfather clock, an invasive skunk unleashes its defensive spray, and a busy beaver likewise splashes up an unexpected surprise in advance of the unpleasant sight of an obese, bed-ridden individual od'd on pizza.  Still to come is a CGI zombie kill; a bearded, cross-dresser playing in a little girl's room; and an attic adorned with "living" dolls.  The Carnage Community Hospital witnesses a horrifying event, then it's onto the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit that reveals a bloody, ill-tempered nurse caring for possessed-looking infants, which soon delivers another unexpected surprise.  Organ music accompanies a funeral wake that's complimented by the smell of freshly-cut flowers, and a fast-moving clown stalks a spinning vortex that connects to "Slow Cuts Barber Shop," where a barbaric coiffeur takes a little too much off the top!  Still to come is "Cannibal's Carnival," where axed bodies litter the circus floor, then disembodied heads come crashing down from above. sparks shoot forth, and short-circuiting fuse boxes emit some sort of electrical mishap as the course cleverly exits into a novelty-filled gift shop that lulls you into a false sense of security before a final hit-and-run, Mack Truck surprise, and an obligatory chainsaw chase out.

ANALYSISCarnage is a combination of a traditional haunted house complimented by modern-day scares.  The "haunted" aspect is defined by numerous active events including a tilting bookcase, tipping Grandfather Clock, rocking cradle, vibrating drawers, etc.  The experience showcases everything from an old-school spinning vortex, to animated pneumatics, to a claustrophobic passage.  The event gets off to a memorable beginning courtesy of the Voodoo Priestess' room-morphing ceremony, then delivers a number of unexpected startles along the exquisitely decorated way prior to cleverly exiting into the gift shop, which serves as somewhat of a false finish since there are still a few more scares to come.

Actors are energetic and do their best to deliver the best possible frights.  Voodoo Priestess gives a noteworthy performance as previously mentioned.  Towering, 6' 9" villain is likewise hard to forget, as are "flesh wall" detainee, Barber, nurse, and doctor and patient involved in the "horrifying event" that transpires upon entrance into the hospital.

Several unique surprises take place along the route including spraying skunk; beaver; unmentioned, "exploding" human behind (!), etc.  The trek is accompanied by various, scene-specific smells, and a complimentary soundtrack that's detailed down to the most minute detail, evidenced by buzzing bees, dripping water, and so on.

The only real weakness stems from the progression of events as scenes bounce around from the Louisiana Bayou, in and out of a house, to a butcher shop, attic, funeral parlor, barber shop, vortex, etc., but nevertheless, Carnage puts its best foot forward and presents a seasonally spooky haunted attraction.  Pay them a visit and see for yourself.

Carnage Haunted House
LOCATION & ADMISSION INFO:
1160 AlumCreek Dr., Ste. B
Columbus, OH  43209
$20 Admission/$35 Speedpass ($27 online)
click logo at left to visit their website
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